SERENA’S NEW YEAR’S MISFORTUNE
                                                   by
                                            John Drake

  Serena Gibbons hated the late shift and dwelled on this as she walked down the corridor, tapping her keys in her pocket.
    “Damn this place!” She spoke it aloud as if to cement her opinion although it was also to keep herself company. “Whenever I feel afraid, I whistle a happy tune…” She’d drifted back to being a child and those records of her Mother’s, jaunty musical numbers, “The King and I.” She nodded.
  ‘D’ Wing was the area of the sanitarium that held the dangerous ones, the psychos that had no hope of treatment or a cure. She’d been at the hospital (God forbid they ever call it an Asylum or Madhouse!) for a year now. Not an obvious career choice but just ‘something’. She was a qualified nurse but the endless slog had just gotten to her and this just seemed easier, overseeing the helpless ones but D Wing, D Wing gave her the creeps…
  There was a thump at the door to her right and she moved across to put her eye to the peephole to take a better look. She looked at the number on her clip board and looked at the one on the cell;
    “May.” Inside, a small, balding man was throwing himself against the door, “Knock yerself out.” She drawled in a bad American accent, then shivered at the thought of his crimes. She started looking into every spy hole whilst fingering the keys in her pocket for security, “Mike.” Yes, think about Mike. Her shift would be over in an hour and then she would be back outside. She’d already showered whilst someone had covered for her but she’d sort her hair out later ready for the New Year’s Eve party and Mike at The Black Bull with his friends. Serena was ready for him this time, beneath her uniform she was already decked out in her most expensive (though cheapest) underwear yes, stockings, garter belt and all!
    “Your problem Serena is that you’re so functional! You just can’t do ‘sexy’…” Emma Clough has cackled. “Yes, I’ll show her!” She grinned, plucking at her suspender through her uniform slacks then she fingered the extra ‘surprise’ in her scrubs’ pocket, wondering if the rumours about Mike’s predilections were true. She’d find out…
  The cell at the end beckoned to her as she got close and she put her eye against the spy hole. She frowned, it was empty. Serena Gibbons checked her watch again and thought of Mike whilst taking a longer look into the cell. Nothing, there was no one in there;
    “Who’s supposed to be in here, who?” She checked the number of the cell against her sheet, “Mary Port.” Another dangerous one like May, but where was she? Serena hesitated, looking back the way she’d come. She felt for her phone and pager but they weren’t on her, she must have left them somewhere after her quick shower; “Probably in my locker when I was putting on this stupid underwear!”
  She slipped out her pass before sliding it through the reader, the lock clicked…
  The door swung open silently to reveal an empty padded cell. Serena felt a chill moving up her spine. Where was she, how had Port escaped? There was the steel framed bed with the stainless steel toilet against the far wall. It was pretty spartan. It wouldn’t be a quick process to extricate oneself from under the bed but she gripped at its edge and lifted it. No one there…
  Suddenly, as she turned, the world fell on top of her. She had a sudden impression of bare flesh and teeth. Orderly Gibbons had a fight on her hands then as Port fought her like a wild thing, landing blow after blow. Then there was a solid THUNK to her jaw and everything went black…

  Serena groaned and tried to blink some vision back into her eyes. She lifted her head off her chest to see her black, stocking clad legs stretching out in front of her. Port stood over her, wearing her uniform!
    “Wha..?”
    “Ah yes, Miss,” The inmate twisted Serena’s badge around so she could read it better, “…Gibbons, I’m sure this isn’t the plan you had in mind for tonight but I‘m afraid it was getting a little tedious in here so I’ve decided to leave.” She finished, brightly.
    “You…”
    “Please don’t tell me I’m not going to get away with this as you can see,” she pointed her index fingers towards herself and then at her erstwhile Gaoler, “…I’m quite capable.” Serena Gibbons made to get up but struggled to move her arms and realized the two had fully swapped clothes and now she was in the harsh canvas confines of Port’s straitjacket! She suddenly realized how vulnerable she was and attempted to squeeze back into the padding of the cell. “Oh, don’t worry. I’m not going to do anything to you,” The patient dropped to her haunches in front of her, “…well, except leave you here that is. You see, the thing is I’m really not supposed to be here,” Serena narrowed her eyes, “…oh I know that’s what they all say but you see, my name isn’t Mary Port and I’m not a psycho.” She seemed to consider this and then added, “Well, not so as you’d notice, anyway!”
  The woman grinned then but it didn’t have any calming effect on her victim as the straitjacketed woman tried to slide further away from her.
    “Look,” the former prisoner tried to explain, “…I had a ‘disagreement’ with my employers and they decided this would be the safest place for me as I ‘KNOW THINGS’…” Port gestured, using air quotes. Serena looked less than convinced and swallowed. “Here’s a thing, have you ever seen ‘The Prisoner’?” Serena shook her head. “No? Pity, oh well, worth a try. You see it’s an old television series from the sixties about someone like me, privy to ‘Intelligence Matters’ whose superiors deemed dangerous and now has to be hidden away in a place like this. No, nothing?” Serena shook her head. “Shame. Anyway, my employers seemed to think it would be safer and more in the national interest if I was kept here indefinitely, as opposed to risking me being at loose, out there in the real world.”
    “You’re saying you’re a Secret Agent?”
    “Well well, she speaks!” Port giggled, “’Secret Agent’ is very dated! Are you sure you haven’t seen that show? No, nowadays we prefer Intelligence Officer or Operative. I’ve never had an Aston Martin!”
  Suddenly there was a muted thump from outside as the door to the corridor was pushed to. Serena made to scream but Port’s hand was across her lips with crushing force. Fumbling in the pocket of Gibbon’s scrubs, the former patient pulled a red plastic ballgag out and stuffed it into her victim’s mouth;
    “Ah, ah, ah, naughty!” She hissed, “By the way,” she offered, tapping the large red sphere wedged between Serena’s teeth, “…you ARE a dark horse, aren’t you!”
  With that, Port yanked off her victim’s shoes and was on her feet, ready to greet whoever was in the hall outside and she left, easing the door closed behind her.
  Serena Gibbons attempted to right herself using the wall behind her. To her horror, she could hear what sounded like flirtatious mumbling and giggling from outside. Damn! It was probably that new kid who didn’t know the staff or his way around, Wayne or Dwayne or something! Just as she managed to get to her feet, Port stuck her head around the door;
    “Well, what do you know? It looks like I have a date!” She grinned before closing the door fully, “I do hope he has a car!”

                                                THE END